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You'd better follow your feelings.

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛You'd better follow your feelings. I bet you will not marry in many years. Finally you will calm down and marry a very plain person you would never think of when you young. But you will not feel sorry because you have too much experience before marriage.

I don't mean to hurt you. and I am not crazy to tell one's future. I tell this because I have seen the life of the girls quite like you.

BTW, I don't reject Chinese girl marry white man. The white, especially well educated ones, do have many good characters that our Chinese men do not have. But for the result, I agree with Wang-Ji_Ang. Most Chinese women will leave their white husband, not because their husband have new lover, but because the couple have some intrinsic difference in the idea of living. I would bring an small example to illustrate it: I met a lot of immigrant family. They have a very task, bring their parent (most of time the wife's parent) to some temporarily or permanently. Event if another half is not willing, he can understand and endure. But for a local white, it is incredible. If you pay attention to it, you will find a lot of problems like this: about childern, relative, friend, about how to expend money, many many. Only few couples can solve these problems to continue their marriage happyly to the old age.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下佳缘 / 快乐单身 / 想向不同年龄层次的女士作个意向调查: 当你们男友或老公大你十岁时,你会有心理障碍吗?
    三十一了,但从未结婚.想成家.认识了一女孩,感觉还可以但小我十岁,不想耽误她也不想耽误自己, 不知是否明智将她升级.
    • FOLLOW YOUR HEART BUT DON'T FOLLOW CALCULATION.
      • 担心她还太年轻,心智还未完全定型. 我想我二十一岁时和二十八岁时是两个人
        • 人的本质是很少改变的呀.
        • 同意,就一年的工夫,我就整个变了个人。以前没心没肺,勇往直前,受了这一年的打击,我知道什么叫害怕了,也知道人世中许多事根本不可能尽如人意。唉,这就是成熟、认命吧
          • 另:我现在决定走成熟路线了!
          • 如今识些愁滋味. 没心没肺, 没心没肺, 却道成熟我认命.----千千结小姐雅正.
            • 我欲说还休,欲说还休,却到馄饨不知愁----馄饨跪读
              • 啊,嘎嘎嘎嘎.... 吐血
                • 馄饨终于露出狐狸尾巴,这个颇齐。告诉大家一个秘密,馄饨是鸭子变的!别以为到了加拿大就没人知道了。馄饨,馄饨,你现原行。变,变,变。
                  • 刚才说话的不是我。好馄饨,大馅儿的好馄饨,你能帮我找份儿STUDY PLAN吗,签证时要,我快疯了,以后我天天上网夸你。要不然,我以后天天早点吃馄饨。
                    • STUDY PLAN没有, 不知签证时用菜谱可以不可以,菜谱我这有.
                  • 天哪! 你怎麽能泄漏国家机密呢?
                    • (长出一口气......) 总算找到杀头的理由了, 快杀快杀.
                      • 先不杀。先不杀。知道为什么馄饨走路慢吗?知道他为什么走道老摇头尾巴晃吗?知道他为什么不敢脱鞋吗?其实他的脚上是长蹼的。
                    • 告全体同胞书:为争取北京2008年申奥成功,中共中央现决定在全国范围内开展“吃馄饨,盼奥运”爱国主义运动。凡在一年中免费吃完2008碗馄饨的国人可获赴加十日游大奖。此次活动全部费用由加国十大杰出青年之一馄饨鸭赞助。特派员:千千结。
                    • 馄饨馄饨,你快醒醒呀,怎么又不省人事了,我也没说什么呀,你别再光着脚在雪地里站着了,那蹼冻不掉。你别哭了,我不说你了。乖!
                      • go sleep now. it is too late in the night for you.
        • 这是懒不得的。别人培育她定型,还有你的份儿吗?
          • 不好说哦, 可能她从别人那里能学会一些东西, 会教给她更懂得珍惜.
            • what if others make permanent mark in her heart? 多油的红烧肉都抹不掉。
              • try to make a deeper one right on the old mark !!!
          • 那种有点儿经历,但又不是很多的女孩子会很好。经历太少的女孩子容易想入非非,总觉得爱情是波澜壮阔,经历太多的女孩子会花心,什么都不在乎了,感情就分不出真与假!!
            • I agree!
            • ok
              • 向知心姐姐问好!
                • 乖!!!
      • male 40, female 30 is very good, exactly siutable . but if male 30, female 20 is not good
        • why?
          • 因为 30的男的与20岁女的样子差别太大,而且20岁女的根本不成熟,不懂事。但30岁的女的年龄和样子都比较接近40岁的男的。
    • 只要沟通上没有问题, 感情又好的话,年龄不应当是什么问题.遇上真爱不容易,好好珍惜!
      • 不想让她太早结婚,对她不公平.想等几年再说,但我的年岁在那里啊.不想再拖了.
        • 怎么叫公平? 等她老几岁?可是你还是比她大那么多呀!这没有改变,你的问题也许是对你们的感情还没有很大的信心吧!
          • 象大哥和还不太懂事但还算听话的小妹妹
            我也有过很难说..
            • 后来呢? 现在呢?
              • Time and situation change. She grows up and working in CA now and I am still available. But we still talk once a while just like an old friend.
                • Oh, ceng jing cang hai,,, xixi...
              • 馄饨,我看到您老的尊容了。有日子没见了啊。我忙啊!
        • 只要有共同语言,再说如果你真是一个有成熟气质的男孩,怕什么呢?
    • 找个年纪相近阅历相当的或许更好些(个人看法)
      • 你的观点大家都会认同的。两个人之间在于沟通,如果文化背景生活背景不同,交流都会有困难的!!!
      • 我觉得还是应该男的大一点好
    • zhi jie yi bi wo xia de, 10+ is not a problem for me. My dad is 12 years older than my mum, and they are still enjoying each other now.... So, it really depends....
    • marry her , good for you
    • 仔细问自己是“想成家”还是“真的爱她”,其间天壤之别。21岁的女孩可能天真得象18岁,也可能成熟得和你的年龄相仿。后者才是你的最好选择。我相信身在异国的压力会让你难有心境去时时照看一个小妹妹。夫妻要的是相濡以沫、共同患难。
    • 反正我就喜欢比我年龄大比较多的,因为比较会照顾人,而我又很苯
      • 感情这东西,年龄不应该是障碍,努力作个有心人,别太想做有情人就行了,这年头,有情人太多。呵呵!祝你好运。
        • 你说的是有情人吧,很容易被误认为是情人,呵呵,做有情人不好么?
          • 我是想劝那为老兄,要想厮守一生,还是作个有心人好点。看你的意思,你很愿意做有情人了?
      • 年龄大不等于会照顾人。两个人的年龄相差不要超过两岁,最好是同年,一个年级的。共同点较多,对事物的观点也比较一致。如果其中一个人太小,暂时还好,比较听话,待长大一些有主意了,矛盾就出来了。二十岁和三十岁有太多不同。
        • 同意小雪.
          • 上哪儿找同年级的?早都嫁了.在她们该出嫁的年龄,你两手空空,也没条件成家;当你努力工作后,条件具备了些,可不遇到的都是年龄相差大的.年龄只是一方面,关键是判断她和自己是否足够成熟.就算她年龄过了30就不变了吗?其实没有一生的感情保险.
            • 嚯,嚯,嚯。你又惊着我了。怪不得人家都嫁了那,你老把手揣兜儿里。行了,别这儿思凡了,赶紧干点儿正经的比什么都强。
            • 我找的就是同年级的:)
              • 他很幸运.主要还是你们有缘分.羡慕啊!
                • Yes,it's true. We are very lucky.
        • 年龄相近的给我的感觉是没有安全感,不成熟,找一个整天跟我抬杠,或是要我让着他的,那不是自己找罪受么?
          • 不要介意男人的抬杠,有时候不管他们多大岁数都这样。象不管多大年龄的女人在心爱的男人面前都会撒娇。所以要找不和你抬杠的男人太难了。
          • 同意前半段,但如果我们是真心的,只要求他别死在我前头,那可大坑人了。抬杠多好玩儿呀,要不然死气沉沉的,非得变弱智不可。我就有登上顶峰的孤独感。
        • 我男朋友比我大5岁,就很好,很体贴很细心,会照顾我,真的很让我感动。而且对着一个年龄和我差不多大的男的撒娇,自己都觉得不对劲儿,也许他还处在想向人撒娇的心理阶段呢。
          • Ha ha
          • how old are you? if you are 25, it's good that your bf is older 5 than you. if you are 30, it'd better your bf is older 10 than you
        • 按照一般的规律,女孩子比同龄的男孩子要成熟,所以说....you are wrong.
        • 男35,女28,这时他们应该成熟了,对生活,事业,都有了自己确定的想法,应该是合适的婚龄,大家看看,这样般配吗?
          • 好象“千年宝宝”张一明他爸他妈就这岁数生的他。不过跟你没什么关系吧。
    • 谢谢大家的观点,这个论堂有很多热心人.
    • 我的男朋友大我11 岁。
      我的男朋友大我11 岁, 不同的是他是一个洋人。 当初是因为想学英语跟他接近, 到后来我发现真的爱上他了, 相处的感觉很好, 他大包大揽了所有的家务, 我发现自己像个小公主, 只有当我高兴时, 我才会像模像样的做一次中国菜给他吃, 那时他高兴得像个小孩, 本来我也是来自天府之国的川妹, 有着极好的厨艺, 就因为找了一个比我大得多的男友, 我乐得整天当小公主。但我也是个极爱疯狂的女孩, 每当这时我会感到年龄的差距使我们不能同乐。 但我还是很爱他, 就因为他把我当成他的小公主。
      • Jiang 不幸言中.
        • She will be kicked out sooner or later. I promise!
          • Not really. Phisically she will gain some exotic experience, but definitely she will miss something in her life.
            I mean some mental comfort. Something like fart in front of your spouse without embrassing, etc..
          • 你为什么会这么说?他一直在向我求婚, 可我不愿意, 不是我不爱他, 是因为我把握不了自己, 毕竟我还年轻, 也许我会爱上别的男人。 我知道自己是一个没有定性的人。 有时我感觉我非常像卫慧小说中的女主角。
            • go to any street in any place of the world, count the number of young couples of wetsren man and chinese woman, then compare it to the number of the old couples. I bet you.
              I HAVE NEVER MET A SINGLE COPULE of Chinese woman and western
              man at their 50's. They broke long before that. Sorry for that.
              • The General Governor of Canada is a Chinese lady married to a western person. So did the City Councillor, Olivia Chow.
                • One or two examples mean nothing statistically! Calculate the ratio in such a simple way
                  1. stand at the interaction of Young and Bloor
                  2. give yourself some 30 minutes of time
                  3. Count the number of such young mixed couples
                  4. count the number of old ones.

                  3/4= the ratio, which means, of all the chinese girls
                  having affair with whites, only this percent may have
                  result. To my knowledge, the ratio can be as low as
                  0:10000
            • Your man is either poor or is just pretending. Poor man doesn't care to have a marriage because he has nothing to lose. If he is just pretending, take him to the city hall, I bet he will run away just before he about to enter the door
            • 哈,激昂, 知道了吧, 要不怎么有的浴室内不带镜子呢...
              • 哈哈哈,其实,我们中国男人也是有浪漫情怀的,主要靠MM们去发现。事实证明,某些中国家庭浴室里的镜子是坏的。
            • How long have you been with your old boy friend? Obviously, you don't love
              him. Please just don't make any excuse and fool yourself. You as a first-generation immigrant shouldn't try to find a foreign spouse. You think you're having a good time. But actually you've lost a lot also. Those foreign old guys want Chinese girls who just immigrated because the cost for the relationship is quite low. To realistic and rational, you should find yourself a younger Chinese guy who can have fun and share the meaning of life with you. But I myself won't be interested, for that you have slept with the old foreign guy just because you wanted to learn some English. How sad!
            • 想不到还真有象卫慧这种女孩,如果你是这样,真不要结婚,否则,害人,害己。
              • 我不同意你的看法,象卫慧怎么了?她杀人防火犯法了吗?他所爱的男人都被她害了吗?根本就不是这样,怎么叫害人害自?
            • You'd better follow your feelings.
              本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛You'd better follow your feelings. I bet you will not marry in many years. Finally you will calm down and marry a very plain person you would never think of when you young. But you will not feel sorry because you have too much experience before marriage.

              I don't mean to hurt you. and I am not crazy to tell one's future. I tell this because I have seen the life of the girls quite like you.

              BTW, I don't reject Chinese girl marry white man. The white, especially well educated ones, do have many good characters that our Chinese men do not have. But for the result, I agree with Wang-Ji_Ang. Most Chinese women will leave their white husband, not because their husband have new lover, but because the couple have some intrinsic difference in the idea of living. I would bring an small example to illustrate it: I met a lot of immigrant family. They have a very task, bring their parent (most of time the wife's parent) to some temporarily or permanently. Event if another half is not willing, he can understand and endure. But for a local white, it is incredible. If you pay attention to it, you will find a lot of problems like this: about childern, relative, friend, about how to expend money, many many. Only few couples can solve these problems to continue their marriage happyly to the old age.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
        • 为天下有情人祝福!有情与揩老你会选择哪一个,当然这两个并不矛盾。长久的婚姻,会把爱情渐渐变成亲情,渐渐淡莫的时候,是寻找新的激情还是做努力维系它,不同人有不同人的选择。
      • 中国几千年老话, 婚姻讲究的是"门当户对".你与老外门不当, 户不对,拍托可以,抱着新鲜猎奇的心态, 大家各取所需, 皆大欢喜. 过日子?...呐呐呐呐, 我不看好.我所见过的异族通婚,最长的持续了八年.
      • 别高兴得太早,等有一天爱情淡漠的时候你就从小公主变成...
    • 如果你30,她20,你会觉得有隔阂;如果你40,她30,你会觉得比较合适;如果你50,她40,可能你会很满意。(有这会事儿吗?)
      • 很有道理.
      • 精辟
      • Cool!!!
      • male 39,female is 30 it's good?
    • 我认为比较理想的年龄组合是30岁前男女同龄,30岁后男的比女的大8到10岁,当然正常情况下的婚姻是做不到这样的
      • So, it's the best way that to find a wife who is younger 3-5 than you before 30. change another wife who is younger 10 than you after 30 :))
    • 如果是两情相悦就没什么不可以!年龄绝对不是距离!
    • 嘿,和我一样,我也差不多29了,认识一个女孩也是比我小十岁, 怎么办?
      • 还得苦等她大学毕业才行, 哎.