她要分手，多数是因为他爱的方式不能让她快乐，她觉得无望，想挺而走险。他希望向前走，是因为不够爱。无论如何不能让他知道了，试想告诉他是为了什么？ -laoningbo(butailao) @硅谷华人论坛:硅谷枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of San Jose

枫下佳缘 / 快乐单身 / If she broke up with him and is still in deep love with him. Should she let him know and try to get him back, even though he said it was enough and wanted to move on by himself? -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728342@0)

She has her own dignity and is being tortured by the struggle between her love and dignity. Shall she bury herself in pain and let it go, or give it another try? -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728350@0)

If she really loves him, "her own dignity" should not prevent her from calling him. she really should ask herself the question if she really wants to spend the rest of her life with him. -lostindarkness(lostpeople); 2006-1-18 {104} (#2728760@0)
We really do not know what has happended between her and him, so, can not comment on what she should do.

I think that man may not love her any more, but not very sure. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728902@0)

感觉是她爱他不够深。有没有听过，爱让人失去理智，她还没有因为爱失去理智。 -lostindarkness(lostpeople); 2006-1-18 (#2728791@0)

She called him several times, but every time, that man yelled at her like a stranger. So nasty. Still she loves him, but doesn't have enough courage to face his yelling and shouting any more. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728901@0)

the old gone and the new comes -maxtrixgg(MaxtrixGG); 2006-2-11 (#2778251@0)

好马不吃回头草，应该有点道理８，再说爱的那么多还把人家踹了，不是自虐嘛。 -ningxin0809(雁影行洲); 2006-1-18 (#2728352@0)

再说爱的那么多还把人家踹了? She loves him for sure, but her way to love may not be proper. Some people are in deep love, and don't know how to love properly. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728383@0)

mssd,需要提高eq -ningxin0809(雁影行洲); 2006-1-18 (#2728397@0)

Right. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728420@0)

She is not sure if that man's heart is dead as he said. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728387@0)

算了，回头多没面子，天涯何处无男人 -orchid2004(orchid); 2006-1-18 (#2728369@0)

The point is that she loves, and is still in love with only that man, not any other men. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728384@0)

那个男人都说要MOVE ON，你再回去找他，他只会觉得你CHEAP，他不一定回头不说，就是回头，以后也不一定珍惜你。他要是不回来找你，你千万别再去找他了。爱不爱也就是一种习惯，时间长了你就不想他了。 -orchid2004(orchid); 2006-1-18 (#2728399@0)

Thanks, but I may need to clarify the fact that "She" is not me, but one of my female friends who is in enormous pain. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728414@0)
I understand your point, but my suggestion to her is that give love another try, and don't let love pass by that easily. I wonder if I am right or not. Sounds like I am too naive. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728417@0)

Even though she is still in loved with that man, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are a good match. Love alone is not sufficient enough to maintain a good relationship. -crystal_clear(水晶心); 2006-1-19 (#2731016@0)

有道理! -may2002beijing(不会游泳的鱼); 2006-2-1 (#2756216@0)

就是!还是那句话--3条腿的蛤蟆不好找,2条腿的南热满大街都是 -may2002beijing(不会游泳的鱼); 2006-2-1 (#2756214@0)

Let it go. Only time can heal her and him. -crystal_clear(水晶心); 2006-1-18 (#2728513@0)

I feel heart-broken. one human being is in love with the other, but has to let time kill her feeling. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728568@0)

if she has time to waste then go back to this man. if not, find a guy loves her. -wince(Mini); 2006-1-18 (#2728541@0)

How can you be so sure that that man doesn't love her any more? I am not sure, but I don't know what to say. I feel extremely sad that love is so fragile, and people so easily give up. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728544@0)

if the guy still loves her, he won't say that's enough ... he wants to move on. -wince(Mini); 2006-1-18 (#2728546@0)

He has been deeply hurt by the way she demonstrates her love, so he said that. But does what he said is true, or just what he had to say when he was hurt? -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728555@0)

but, is what he said true.... -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728556@0)
will she change her way of love? otherwise, no matter how deep the guy loved her before, it will wear out. -wince(Mini); 2006-1-18 (#2728590@0)

She definitely wants to change for that man, but she doesn't know if that man will give her another chance to make up. This is why she is painful. Her dignity doesn't allow her to call him or email him any more. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728594@0)

go ahead and try. but she should realize there is only one chance. -wince(Mini); 2006-1-18 (#2728601@0)

I suggest she tries, but she has to fight with her dignity. She is afraid to lose her dignity. I am not sure of the relationship between love and dignity. Does love need to sacrifice itself to dignity? -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728607@0)

be vulnerable...but not no dignity. -wince(Mini); 2006-1-18 {16} (#2728613@0)
少了谁都可以活。
as long as she trys, she won't be regret in future. -wince(Mini); 2006-1-18 (#2728626@0)

They both had some ups and downs, and they survived several severe downs, but this time, that man said enough. She wished time could go back and things would start or end up better. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728600@0)

love is from both sides. -wince(Mini); 2006-1-18 (#2728552@0)

She is still in love with him for sure, but she is not so sure if he is really done with her. That's why she is painful. Her dignity doesn't allow her to make further efforts, -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 {58} (#2728561@0)
but deepdown she loves him, and doesn't want to lose him.

I have been seeing so many posts at Rolia that are longing for the arrival of love and the departure of loneliness or singlehood, but how many posters have found their true love? -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 {47} (#2728551@0)
She seems to have found her love, doesn't she?

If you love him and he still love you. YES. Otherwise NO. -jeffrey815(Smartiecat); 2006-1-18 (#2728549@0)

But how to know if that man is still in love with her? He appears so upset, hurt and frustrated. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728553@0)
It's not me, but one of my female friends. I am sorry that I have to clarify this, because I don't want to mis-direct friends who reply. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728559@0)
How can we know that the man actually loves her, even though he says "move on", or "enough"? -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728565@0)

为什么女人总是和男人玩捉迷藏呢？为什么不能直截了当的问清楚？爱就是爱，不爱就是不爱。说实话，大多数男人是很不善于玩这种游戏的。 -flare(雪中行); 2006-1-18 (#2728578@0)

She is not 捉迷藏, but her way to love the man is beyond his understanding in some sense. I am not sure if that may will give her another chance. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728580@0)
Sometimes, a woman just loves a man too much, too too much, and she just cannot do things right to maintain that love. I feel desperately sad. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728583@0)
She broke up with him in a severe argument and a hasty rush. She is paying for that rush now and perhaps for the rest of her life. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728586@0)

既然那么喜欢他，那就放下面子，认认真真的和他谈一下吧。如果男的也很爱她，男人一般会包容女人的。但是如果男人已经没有了对她的爱，事情也就简单了。 -flare(雪中行); 2006-1-18 (#2728605@0)

What do you think of "那个男人都说要MOVE ON，你再回去找他，他只会觉得你CHEAP，他不一定回头不说，就是回头，以后也不一定珍惜你。他要是不回来找你，你千万别再去找他了。爱不爱也就是一种习惯，时间长了你就不想他了。"? -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728609@0)

有一定道理，不过还要看大家是不是都是冷静下来说话的。如果是经过考虑的，那就算了，男人已经下定了主意了。 -flare(雪中行); 2006-1-18 (#2728629@0)
如果真心爱他，就放下面子道歉并且给他时间去考虑两人之间的关系。不要担心是否他会觉得你CHEAP，关键是要有诚意。遇上一个你爱的人并不容易，不要轻言放弃。 -choice(水中花); 2006-1-18 (#2728786@0)

Agree with you completely: "放下面子，认认真真的和他谈一下吧。" She will find out if he is still loving her. -survivor76(蝴蝶花); 2006-1-18 (#2728628@0)

"其实男人最怕的不是女人的强硬，而是你软硬得当，这让他们束手无策。... 适当的时候勇于示弱，恰恰是一种强，不战而屈人之兵。... " -survivor76(蝴蝶花); 2006-1-18 (#2728616@0)

She is not mature enough to get that strategy. Love does need strategy, even though most of us fail to get it. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728911@0)

男人最愚蠢的错误就是他根本不知道女人想要什么还自以为知道。 -survivor76(蝴蝶花); 2006-1-18 (#2728611@0)

That's partly true in my friend's case. I cannot help bursting into tears for her. She actually loves that man till she is hearbroken. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728619@0)

why she is hearbroken? -wince(Mini); 2006-1-18 (#2728624@0)

I don't know. Perhaps it is too late for her to give it another try. -asker(asker); 2006-1-18 (#2728651@0)

没办法，谁叫男人和女人是来自不同的星球的，沟通不容易啊。 -flare(雪中行); 2006-1-18 (#2728631@0)

她要分手，多数是因为他爱的方式不能让她快乐，她觉得无望，想挺而走险。他希望向前走，是因为不够爱。无论如何不能让他知道了，试想告诉他是为了什么？ -laoningbo(butailao); 2006-1-30 {583} (#2753362@0)
爱一个人是要他和你一起更快乐，如果不是，还是放手吧。如果他在你变心之前回头，就收留他。一个男人从爱你到不爱你，是很另人伤心的。你回头找他，泪流满面，他也许还会给你爱抚，爱抚之后，他会把后背留给你，在也不会像从前一样了。而这一线之别，让你觉得如隔天涯，什么都是不一样了。时间不同，心境也不同了。他的感觉是变了。

“那个男人都说要MOVE ON，你再回去找他，他只会觉得你CHEAP，他不一定回头不说，就是回头，以后也不一定珍惜你。他要是不回来找你，你千万别再去找他了。爱不爱也就是一种习惯，时间长了你就不想他了。"

这是真的，与其不被他爱惜，还不如自爱一点，他不爱你不要紧，不要被他轻视了你。

有什莫嘛,不就是一个糟男人嘛,26亿男性里边不信就找不到一个很爱很爱你的 -may2002beijing(不会游泳的鱼); 2006-2-1 (#2756217@0)

惨就惨在这个男人不仅不糟，他是太好，不然她怎会在分手后还惦着他。 -laoningbo(butailao); 2006-2-1 (#2756877@0)

好男人?怎么会?好男人不会跟自己老婆外的女人不清不楚,不会让自己爱的女人流泪 -may2002beijing(不会游泳的鱼); 2006-2-3 (#2759986@0)
完完全全整整个个世界宇宙超级无敌的大坏蛋!! -may2002beijing(不会游泳的鱼); 2006-2-3 (#2759987@0)

还是个面子的问题, 想想当初为什么要提出分手, 如果那只是一时冲动, 就别顾面子啦, 幸福要紧. 如果当时是经过仔细考虑的, 那就别吃"回头草". -warmbedtonight(来吧...); 2006-2-1 (#2756278@0)

@San Jose

她要分手，多数是因为他爱的方式不能让她快乐，她觉得无望，想挺而走险。他希望向前走，是因为不够爱。无论如何不能让他知道了，试想告诉他是为了什么？

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